THE GREASY STRANGLER

A CONVERSATIONAL REVIEW


Saturday, October 15th. Jeremiah and David sat down to finally watch 'The Greasy Strangler'. Entering in on the back of gleeful anticipation, expecting a good time with a film built on toilet humor and gag jokes, they had no idea the kind of transformative, introspectively deep experience it would turn out to be.

...

BULLSHIT ARTIST!

The film was stupid as all hell, and as you'll soon read below, provided Jerry and David more than they could ever have hoped for in that capacity, ultimately delivering on the nearly fever pitch hype they had created for themselves.


JERRY - Hey David, you remember how we were excited for Jim Hosking's upcoming horror movie The Greasy Strangler? We swore an oath to watch it together because it looked 100% supreme taco level bad ass spicy? You remember that? And the trailer that made everyone lose their shit?

DAVID - The first time I saw the trailer... I was shit scared. I didn't know if the movie would truly be greasy enough. I needed to feel the grease oozing from my pores. It was probably the longest wait of my entire life. But we finally did it.

JERRY - Yeah man, yeah, we really did. We did it. But it was like those times when something is so amazing, you kind of forget what happened. Like the first time I

uh

see? I forgot that shit too. You'll have to remind me what this movie is about.

DAVID - It's about disco... father and son relationships ... making love for the first time ... and most importantly solving the case of the greasy strangler...

JERRY - See I KNEW it was awesome. Right right, ok, it's coming back to me now. The dad Ronnie gets super-jealous of his gorgeously alpha son Brayden cuz their most recent tour guide customer Janet (played by the super-hot Elizabeth De Razzo), likes him more.

DAVID - Exactly! The dad gets super worried that his son is going to move out with his super hot new girlfriend. Once that happens the dad fears of dying of loneliness. Did you know that's actually a thing? You can be so heartbroken and lonely that you just DIE.... just from a broken heart .

JERRY

....

Hey I call bullshit on that!

Besides, who has time for love when a killer is on the loose? The Greasy Strangler is who I'm talking about and he's out there popping heads like a boss. And he has a huge pecker too. Like a boss.

Like a boss

Like a boss

DAVID - You call bullshit?!! I call bullshit! He may have killed a few people, but they sort of had it coming. And as for the peck it's average at best....

JERRY - Yeah right, Braydon's girlfriend Janet didn't think so; and someone that hot can get any guy she wants, so you're the bullshit artist!

DAVID - BULLSHIT ARTIST!!! You don't even know what you're talking about. The only thing I can agree on is Braydon's girlfriend being a ROOTIE TOOTIE DISCO CUTIE!

Janet the heart breaker, consoling the down trodden Brayden

Janet the heart breaker, consoling the down trodden Brayden

JERRY - Fine whatever.

But man, do I wish I was as smooth with the ladies as Ronnie is. His disco moves are just too hot to handle; the way he did those hip shakes and pelvic thrusts to the movie's soundtrack was way cool.

DAVID - The soundtrack was the coolest thing I've ever heard in a movie. It's the only music I listen to now.

JERRY - That reminds me, hey David. Guess what?

Guess who composed the music; guess his name!

*snickers*

DAVID - 

Who made it?

*Jerry continues to snicker*

What's his name?!

*more snickering*

TELL ME!!

*there's a little bit of spit now*

TELL ME WHO MADE THE MUSIC!!!

JERRY - Ok ok fine, shut up already. I'll tell you. His name is...

...are you ready?

His name is... 

...Andrew Hung! 

*Nods rapidly*

DAVID -

...

...

BAHAHAHAHAHA

JERRY - GYAHAHAHAHA

DAVID - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JERRY - HEHEHEH HEH ... WOOOOoooo

DAVID - 

*wipes tears away*

Hey Jerry... did we talk about how awesome Oinker is? He was pretty awesome.....Big Paul was also a pretty smooth disco cat....But if I had to pick one character out of everyone...

HOT DOG CART GUY! 🌭🌭🌭

That was one extra greasy dog!

JERRY - Hell yeah! Dude was fearless too, Took no shit from Ronnie either; definitely a memorable character. In fact, this whole movie is just full of them. Lots of memorable characters. You'll never forget them. Definitely one of my favorite things about The Greasy Strangler other than The Greasy Strangler. The whole thing is just crazy as shit isn't it? Like really bat shit crazy, and it doesn't give a shit. And that's why I love it. No bullshit. I love it because it doesn't give a flying shit.

Awesome characters, awesome victims

Awesome characters, awesome victims

DAVID - I love when movies do that. It's so rare to come across a film that has no logic or rules to its universe. That's what makes the greasy strangler such a magical shit show. It really can't be compared to anything. You know what else was pretty banana sandwich? I rarely bring this up when discussing movies.. whoever was in charge of the wardrobe deserves an extra cheesy and greasy cheeseburger. From Ronnie's super smoothie fly disco suit to Braydon's ultra snuggalicious pink turtle neck. It was like a Saturday Night Fever and John Waters movie mashup. I really am having a hard time finding any flaws in this film... and if anyone does find any... BULLSHIT ARTIST!!!

JERRY - YEP! B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T A-R-T-I-S-T. Anyway, I'm hungry. Let's go grab some chow. Maybe Hotdogs and Pattertoe?

DAVID - It has to be extra greasy... they never put enough grease in the food when we eat out.

JERRY - Yeah man. Agreed. David?

DAVID - What?

JERRY - I had a great time watching Greasy Strangler with you bro. I hope we get to have more awesome bro-time watching more stupid shit from Jim Hosking in the future.

DAVID - I had a greasy time with you too. Agreed... Jim is definitely high on my radar and I'm looking forward to any future projects he has coming.

JERRY - And you know what else?

DAVID - What?

JERRY - This review is 110% pure horse shit.

...Hahahahahaha

DAVID - HORSE SHIT!!!! Hahahahaha

JERRY - Hahahahahaha

DJAEVRIRDY - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*Fart noise*

A greasy shit-filled film like this will have anyone running straight to their nearest car wash afterwards

A greasy shit-filled film like this will have anyone running straight to their nearest car wash afterwards